Stress Tention, and you guessed it... No spankings.
So I am wondering if my husband was sincere in his offer to at least try this dd thing. It has been over two years since I first brought it up to him, and every spanking I have gotten with the exception of 2 were initiated by me. Either that or they ended in sex. In our house you would need a double edged sword to cut through the tention. It's that thick. ... So why is it so hard for him to realize that all I want him to do is take charge. Its not that hard (At least I don't think) Make Rules, enforce them. If a rule is broken, over the knee, bare behind and a good LONG spanking. No, yelling, no screaming, just lectures, and spanking.He says the reason he doesn't take charge is because I have a death grip on control and he "can't" (for the record there is a difference between cant and won't.) get ahold of it enough to take it. From my point of view he won't even try. He's afraid of taking control... or probably too lazy. I am not sure.
Most tops/doms would read this post and blister me silly for disrespecting them. Him, he probably won't even read it. He isn't interested in anything I do. NOTHING. So, I have decided to give up on my quest for spankings, give up my time on spanking websites, and give up my blog (much to the dismay of my loyal fans.. I love you guys) It doesn't seem that I am doing myself any favors by fantasizing about this stuff. It only makes it worse.
Anyway guys, I want to thank you for all of your support and love..
posted by Kendra @ 9:23 PM
4 Comments:
Kendra, I think you should take what you can get and make the most of it. He might never take hold of authority over you, it might not be in him, but at least you're playing. We've only been playing at it for 2 years, and I initiate the spankings. I'm slowly working on him for discipline spankings, suggesting "I should be spanked for that" if I do something stupid. He's come a long way since we first started, in that I never expected he'd have it in him to really give it to me, but he has. He's taken the reigns a few times on his own which I also never expected. Maybe he really feels he can't take control, you have to try to show him that he has control of other things before he can take control of this. It'll be easier for him, build up his courage to be the boss and not have you override his choices when he makes them. As long as he is willing to give you other types of spankings, be patient and let more severe spanking work in there gradually. Hang in there and maybe he'll surprise you one day by taking over. Debbie
Thanx Debbie,
I guess what I needed right now was some encouragement. I haven't tried the "I should be spanked for that". That could work, but I agree I need to be more patient..
Thanx Hun,
Kendra
Discipline spankings and a Domestic Discipline relationship
are complex.
The fantasy of the all powerful Dom is just that, a fantasy.
No one, no matter how strong they are, is strong enough to
survive all that life can throw at them without someone
else to stand by them and help them through the hard times.
In your partner (your lover, your spouse), you need someone
who can stand my your side and help you through those ugly
times when fear stalks your sleep. If you've not had those
times, you will. Everyone does, sadly.
No one who is mature enough to understand something of the
nature of life wants someone who is not strong enough to
give them good advice and be there whey they need them.
Perhaps what your husband is reacting to is just this. That
he sees your desire for a DD relationship as a retreat into
a childlike role and what he wants is a mature woman and
partner.
Does this mean that you can't have discipline spankings and
DD? I don't think so, but I think that it is complicated.
As Patty writes (on Creative Spanked Wife), the DD that you
imagine in fantasy, of being turned over his knee like
a naughty girl and spanked until your bottom is crimson and
your sobbing is a great fantasy, but it does not work outside
of fantasy. At least not in the long run.
Perhaps one way to approach discipline spankings is to work out
the problems as two adults. Then when the problem is worked out,
a discipline spanking is administered. You get punished for
your transgression with a good hard spanking, but your getting
punished as an adult naughty girl, not as a childlike naughty
girl.
One common reaction that tops have in this situation is: "I'm
not perfect, in fact in this case I was mostly at fault. It
is not fair that she gets spanked and I don't want to be
spanked". The answer is that, in fact, he does not want to be
spanked, you do. He's not supposed to be perfect or some kind
of superman. He deals with his flaws and transgressions in his
own way. You get your bare bottom spanked soundly.
Finally, there is what I call the secret language of spankos.
For those of us where spanking is at the core of who we are,
there is a language we naturally speak. We understand all of
the special words and phrases. "Pull down your panties, you've
been a naughty girl", "Go stand in the corner and think about
what you've done and then you're going to get a hard spanking".
People who are not spankos simply do not speak the language.
They can learn a bit of it, but is always a foreign language.
So don't give up, but also realize that what you want is complex
and perhaps for your husband, not that easy.
Good luck,
Wintermute
im a 30 yr oldmale and i reckn u should b e given an asswhipping over ur pantiecoverd ass,atleast 4-8 times,so u can feel the stingof the belt on ur buttcheeks,but only because ud enjoy it.
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