A new job, no spankings, and asthma
So I started a new job last friday. It's going great!!! I love it, and I have already made 77 in tips.. I would have made double that, but since I was training with someone we split the tips. I work in a casino now.
As for no spankings, my husband and I both just got new jobs. He started working in the same building as me, although he works in the convenient store.
As for asthma, I ended up in the emergency clinic yesterday with a peak flow (Air intake) of 65, with 350 being a normal level. 200-350 is low, but still safe and anything below 200 is dangerous. So they gave me two nebulizer treatments (Which is like medicated oxygen) and an IV of prednisone (A steroid) to open my airways. She said she still wanted me to go to the ER, but I wouldn't because I can't afford that right now.So nothing new other then that, but thought I'd update anyway.
Jobs, Shots, and no spankings
So it's been over a week since I last got a spanking. So I'm kinda frustrated about that, but our life has been hectic. My husband just got a new job, and so did I. We are working in the same building but not the same department. I am working in the Casino and he's in the gas station.
In other news. My daughter got her first set of shots today, and she's really grumpy. I can understand that too I was always grumpy after I got shots.
Anyway, that's my life at this point.
Emotions, Emotions, and a breaking spanking.
I had asked on the discussion board at
www.spankingden.com about breaking spankings. What they are and what they entail. Darwins was kind enough to take the time to explain.
The term breaking is both the right and wrong phrase to use but it probably is the most accurate. It does not relate to breaking spirits, but to breaking down barriers or walls. It seems that for certain people the ability to deal with hurtful or stressful things, breaks away from the considered norm. Where as most people might react with anger, tears or even violence of word or deed, these do not. It often occurs where there has been some sort of tragedy or serious problem, where all around is collapsing and that person must be strong for others. This means that their personal grief has to be suppressed and internalised in order for them to help others. This over time becomes a habit – especially if she/he is always seen to be the ‘strong one’ Thus a wall gets created inside and the ability to simply let go and release the pent up emotions is almost lost. You know its there, and you want to use it but you just can’tThank you Darwins!
I replied saying that I would explain why I feel that I need this, after a few warnings regarding the severity of a breaking spanking.
When I was born at 28 weeks, it was said that I wouldn't live to see the next morning. I had underdeveloped lungs, no hip socket, and clubbed feet. So the road ahead of me if I were to survive would be a long one. I had numerous surgeries and spent about 3/4 of my first 5 years of life in the hospital for illness and surgeries. I was 6 months old when my mom and dad got divorced and my mom couldn't handle 3 children with one being critically ill, so I was "sent" to live with my grandparents. I didn't meet my dad until after my husband and I were engaged and refered to my grandpa as dad. My mom remarried, but my step dad was an alcoholic and verbally abusive toward my mom, brother, sister and I, and I don't concider him a father figure in anyway. He is no longer an alcoholic, but he is still verbally abusive. I don't remember much of my childhood, but my grandparents told me I didn't cry or fuss that much during any of my surgeries. When I was 6 yeards old I was sexually abused by a family member, and this didn't stop until I was 13. I didn't tell anyone until after I was out of the house 4 years ago (I'm 21 now). I still have issues with flashbacks, and memories of this time.
My grandma and I are really close. While dealing with depression (through-out much of high school) I shut out alot of my family, and moved out of my grandparents house at 17 to live with my ex boyfriend's mom in another state. I did graduate high school, but the depression didn't really go away. I moved back home at 18 and became engaged with my husband. We lived together almost immediatly after I moved home. Our situation was the best, but it certainly wasn't the worst either. A month after we got evicted from our apartment and were living with some friends, I lost my grandpa to cancer. I tried dealing with that emotionally, but put that greiving on hold when I found out two weeks later that I was pregnant with my daughter. (I was three weeks pregnant when he died) We moved into my mother in law's trailer in July to pay off our bills and hopefully get into our own place before baby was born. (Whatever you do, do not move into a 3 bedroom trailer with three other people, and 4 animals while pregnant, unless you want to lose your mind, especially if it's your mother in law's.) After about 2 months of listening to my mother in laws bitching after our bills were payed off I gave in to her demands to move into a studio apartment on the third floor (We were approved for the apartment 4 days before my daughter was born) because I was sick and tired of her bitching and my husband not telling her to leave it alone. I had reservations about the third floor, not only because I was 39 weeks pregnant, but also because I don't have a working hip and there is no elevator(I can still walk, but it's really easy to dislocate my hip, and it stiffens quite easily), and the heat in Montana is horrid if you don't have an AC. The day of my baby shower (I was 37 weeks pregnant) I got the call that my grandma (on my dad's side) had died, I had met her a few times, but it was still hard because I was hoping to go visit her this summer.
So in conclusion, I have had a lot of random shit happen that I didn't get to grieve for, or didn't show my grief.
Anyway, that's enough about my life.
